Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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