so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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