I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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