I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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