i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
The struggles of a small town man whore
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize
