i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
