they need to just BURY HIM!
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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