Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
