Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
