Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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