plz talk dirty to me
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
