Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
