do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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