I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
