i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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