There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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