anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
she smelled like a LAN party
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
