we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
