i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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