I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
