so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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