I got chris browned last night
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
