Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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