I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
love makes seman taste better
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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