the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
