ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
