Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
