it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
