I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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