Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
