I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I bet he comes in French.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
