I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
