i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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