No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
