I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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