if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
