You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
