Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
