idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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