girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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