Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
