Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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