You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize