Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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