Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
