he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
