i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
