I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
