You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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