smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
