I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
How does it feel to date your dad?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
