So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
