worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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