i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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