I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize