Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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