Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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