do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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