Texts From Last Night

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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.

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  (480): I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is. http://tfl.nu/0bg6
  Replies (13) Good night (2283) Bad night (690)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  P.S. I can't hear my feet

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  (972): P.S. I can't hear my feet http://tfl.nu/z4b9
  Replies (21) Good night (4191) Bad night (678)
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  (714): View more from California

  dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.

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  (714): dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife. http://tfl.nu/j38h
  Replies (25) Good night (4407) Bad night (637)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous

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  (608): I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous http://tfl.nu/1bk0
  Replies (14) Good night (5414) Bad night (525)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.

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  (214): For those pictures, I will suffer this headache. http://tfl.nu/al31
  Replies (2) Good night (3298) Bad night (919)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him

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  (443): He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him http://tfl.nu/8x14
  Replies (19) Good night (1364) Bad night (4049)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything

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  (609): I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything http://tfl.nu/1m1m
  Replies (11) Good night (2051) Bad night (574)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked

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  (574): all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked http://tfl.nu/pht3
  Replies (8) Good night (2515) Bad night (622)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"

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  (832): You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you" http://tfl.nu/nnn7
  Replies (1) Good night (2417) Bad night (652)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.

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  (412): Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it. http://tfl.nu/x2ar
  Replies (6) Good night (1877) Bad night (934)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?

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  (228): Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know? http://tfl.nu/qpy1
  Replies (10) Good night (1790) Bad night (536)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.

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  (847): We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love. http://tfl.nu/9pu7
  Replies (7) Good night (884) Bad night (736)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.

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  (414): No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma. http://tfl.nu/kebr
  Replies (0) Good night (966) Bad night (252)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.

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  (951): Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con. http://tfl.nu/1v01
  Replies (4) Good night (981) Bad night (275)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.

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  (512): Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them. http://tfl.nu/p5sb
  Replies (0) Good night (634) Bad night (262)

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