Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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