I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
