He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed