Texts From Last Night

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  (208): View more from Idaho

  found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.

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  (208): found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year. http://tfl.nu/y6rv
  Replies (30) Good night (6600) Bad night (2010)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?

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  (251): if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me? http://tfl.nu/7eei
  Replies (26) Good night (7020) Bad night (865)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.

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  (540): She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her. http://tfl.nu/1bms
  Replies (13) Good night (4915) Bad night (1519)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you

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  (330): I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you http://tfl.nu/tpxb
  Replies (11) Good night (2003) Bad night (1280)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?

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  (+61): She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental? http://tfl.nu/sd8n
  Replies (21) Good night (1477) Bad night (2778)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.

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  (770): She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking. http://tfl.nu/77kz
  Replies (9) Good night (3163) Bad night (786)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.

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  (651): You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions. http://tfl.nu/alli
  Replies (8) Good night (2004) Bad night (827)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.

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  (303): Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend. http://tfl.nu/4mef
  Replies (3) Good night (1634) Bad night (584)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.

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  (914): I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now. http://tfl.nu/2zl0
  Replies (5) Good night (2246) Bad night (638)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.

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  (306): You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota. http://tfl.nu/9skm
  Replies (5) Good night (1054) Bad night (523)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  i found out she really is a mensa member

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party

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  (484): i found out she really is a mensa member (215): so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party http://tfl.nu/5lqf
  Replies (4) Good night (931) Bad night (491)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break

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  (202): Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break http://tfl.nu/8ihp
  Replies (4) Good night (755) Bad night (374)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce

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  (254): It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce http://tfl.nu/ukp1
  Replies (1) Good night (523) Bad night (438)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.

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  (931): Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight. http://tfl.nu/04cx
  Replies (0) Good night (378) Bad night (201)
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  (760): View more from California

  MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...

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  (760): MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ... http://tfl.nu/ssoj
  Replies (4) Good night (328) Bad night (111)

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