ADVERTISEMENT

• (773): View more from Illinois

  you want me

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i'd rather choke on a dick.

  Fav 3 1350 1964

  share tweet
  

• (310): View more from California

  Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.

  Fav 40 3415 1039

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (613): View more from Ontario

  Who pooed in my magic bullet?

  (1-613): View more from Ontario

  Sorry the bathroom was being used.

  Fav 9 1100 4952

  share tweet
  

• (305): View more from Florida

  absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.

  Fav 8 1066 4016

  share tweet
  
• 

  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (713): View more from Texas

  I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.

  (512): View more from Texas

  babe, don't say it like that!

  (713): View more from Texas

  I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.

  Fav 139 39951 2176

  share tweet
  

• (860): View more from Connecticut

  i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie

  Fav 17 4818 2171

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (917): View more from New York City

  i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.

  Fav 4 2860 2111

  share tweet
  

• (720): View more from Colorado

  Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.

  Fav 4 1809 906

  share tweet
  

• (407): View more from Florida

  I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.

  Fav 9 898 1908

  share tweet
  
• 

  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out

  Fav 6 1184 668

  share tweet
  

• (512): View more from Texas

  He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear

  Fav 6 1799 757

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (719): View more from Colorado

  She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).

  Fav 7 1250 706

  share tweet
  

• (270): View more from Kentucky

  My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex

  Fav 0 933 516

  share tweet
  

• (620): View more from Kansas

  What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.

  Fav 0 857 494

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (248): View more from Michigan

  Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I was...perplexed.

  Fav 1 72 32

  share tweet
  

Randomize