i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize