He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
