would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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