We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize