i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
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