i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
