I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
