just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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